Interesting article about children with HIV in Zambia that are on ARV's.
As I read through this I thought about all the kids that they do not even know are HIV Positive.
The campaign is to place all kids in need of the ARV's on the medicines by 2010. That doesn't look like that is going to happen here as we begin December.
Like the 35+ orphans that we are supporting (in Copperbelt and here in Lusaka). Only a few have been tested, and from what we know of the family situations at least here in Lusaka, there is a high percentage that at least half of the kids in Lusaka would be positive.
To read a comment about the clinics and facilities being inadequate is a big understatement. At least the few gov't clinics in the compounds that we have visited, have been very poor.
The one we went to in Kawama, the doctor there did not even touch the child or perform and exam on them. You went into the office, stated what was wrong with you, the doctor wrote some things down and then told you to either go get medicine or go get a blood test. And that was it.
http://ipsnews.net/news.asp?idnews=53690
Monday, November 29, 2010
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Thanksgiving Day
We had thanksgiving dinner with Kat, Maureen and all her kids, Enock and his wife and son and Perjuite. His wife and daughter could not make it. Thanksgiving Day here is not celebrated, obviously, so life goes on as normal. Ian had end of term exams in the morning, and for most everyone else the day was a regular working day.
Kat and I doubled the efforts and planned and cooked Thanksgiving Dinner together. She made the Turkeys which gets a kudos in itself. They smelled good and turned out well. It was her first time making one.
The day before I started making the pies, and some of the other things we were going to eat for the meal. Since marrying a southerner I have really enjoyed sweet potato casserole with the crunchy nutty brown sugar topping.
I looked for sweet potatoes at several different stores and realized they were not in season right now. We have enjoyed them before but I have not seen them in a few months. The last store Shoprite, that was available to check had a few bags of sweet potatoes. However they did not look like the regular sweet potatoes but I bought them anyway so we could give it a try.
They also were the only place with turkeys for sale, so Kat bought one and I bought one.
When I got them home and started peeling the potatoes, they were white inside. I asked Maureen about it and she said they still tasted like the other ones. So I cooked them and mashed them and started to add the other ingredients. Everything was mixed up but it was a grayish color not orange. So I ran to the grocery store to buy yellow food coloring to add to the red and make the sweet potatoes orange! I wanted it to look like the regular casserole and I couldn't picture me serving up and eating a grey casserole. I asked Kat what she thought and she said why not? So I mixed it in and got my orange sweet potatoes. After Thanksgiving dinner I told James the story and he laughed and said he didn't even notice. Though I wonder what Maureen thought since she knew they were white-grey!!
(yellow and red make orange. Had to double check on that)
(before the color was added)
Everything turned out great!
Turkey, stuffing, gravy, corn, mashed potatoes, green beans, sweet potato casserole, pecan glazed carrots, salad with cranberries and poppy seed dressing, jello, rolls and for dessert apple and cherry pie with whipped topping ( sent from home and made from a dry mix. That stuff is great!)
(Perjuite, Enock's wife, Enock)
After dinner the kids along with Maureens kids did a play of the 1st Thanksgiving. With props and lines that they practiced and everything.
Normally the kids skits are thrown together, laughing, embarrassed wait lets start over, and very long.
SO when they asked to do one I said it needed to be planned and brief. They delivered. It was great and had elements of humor and ended with them quoting a scripture verse.
After that Emma, Richard and Mwansa read the list of things they had written down in school that they were thankful for. So then we all were sitting around the living room and James said that we normally say what we are thankful for as well and so he started thanking the Lord for His gifts and blessings to us and for Grace.
Then he gave others an opportunity to say anything if they wanted. Many of the kids did as well as Maureen, Enock and Perjuite.
The things that they said blessed me so much just to hear them was worth all the effort and time and money spent into serving thanksgiving dinner and sharing it with them.
After we decided to give them the day off and then invite all their families to come and have dinner with us, I began to have second thoughts. "They don't even understand why we are celebrating thanksgiving or what it is about",
This is normally a family holiday when we get together with all our families. Last time it was thanksgiving I said goodbye to my family.
But they were quite excited about coming and James reminded me of the passage in scripture that speaks about when you give a feast invite those to come that can not repay you. And share in the feast with them.
I am so thankful they came.
Quotes from the day:
"You have made my dreams come true!" - Maureen thanking God that her prayers have been answered and that we have plans to employ her full time in the orphan ministry work. She said she often prayed that God would bless her and then she would have to give to the orphans. Now she is being used by God to minister to the orphans.
"I will be dreaming about this food tonight - Enock
"I don't remember when I have been this full". - Maureen
Other comments on the food and that it is very nice. --which coming from Zambians who I noticed don't tend to comment much on food, this was a huge compliment.
…whispered to Kat, "I am not afraid of Mrs. and Mr. Williamson anymore" - Mwansa after having spent the day with us in our home, eating at our table and watching a movie in the evening with our family. (She used to say she was afraid, I think mainly because we are her mom's boss.
"We are Like family"- Maureen of Perjuite and Enock and the workers relationship they have had with each other.
Don't have to come into the yard thinking where will I hid and do my work - (as he did with previously employers) - Enock being thankful that he is working for Employers who know God and fear Him and treat them well.
"I am thankful for mosquitos nets" - Emma reading her list of things she was thankful for.
"I am thankful for Grace"- James, me, and all the kids
When the day started I read a few emails from friends telling us that they were thinking of us on this day. It was all encouraging, though one in particular I cried at.
Pastor Elliot ( a Scotsman) sent a note just saying he was thinking of us. It made me cry that he was thinking of us, and especially being from Scotland they don't celebrate Thanksgiving. But then he made a few comments about the crazy kids and eating turkey and nshima which made me laugh. ( Thanks Robert!)
Kind of like when I smelled the turkey cooking in the kitchen first thing this morning and it also brought tears to my eyes, made me think of my dad and family, but then by the time the food was being set out on the table and I realized this feast was being shared with our friends and it is one unlike any they have ever had, and then when I realized all the food turned out and tasted delicious, I was happy and thankful we all spent the day together! Happy Thanksgiving!
Our evening ended with a skype call to James's family. His immediate family was all gathered we we got to talk with them and see them too. Then they said to call back in 30 minutes and we could see everyone at his grandmother's house that gathers for the annual Thanksgiving meal. When skype turned on, the laptop was sitting at the end of the dinner table and we could look down to the other end and see all his family sitting around. That was a blessing!
At the end of the day James wanted to take a picture of me. I stood where I was which happened to be the wall in the dining room that has this verse written on it. I just realized now, how fitting this is.
I never would have dreamed God's plan for me and His future for me included a thanksgiving celebration in Africa.
I am thankful He plans and directs us every step of the way!
Kat and I doubled the efforts and planned and cooked Thanksgiving Dinner together. She made the Turkeys which gets a kudos in itself. They smelled good and turned out well. It was her first time making one.
The day before I started making the pies, and some of the other things we were going to eat for the meal. Since marrying a southerner I have really enjoyed sweet potato casserole with the crunchy nutty brown sugar topping.
I looked for sweet potatoes at several different stores and realized they were not in season right now. We have enjoyed them before but I have not seen them in a few months. The last store Shoprite, that was available to check had a few bags of sweet potatoes. However they did not look like the regular sweet potatoes but I bought them anyway so we could give it a try.
They also were the only place with turkeys for sale, so Kat bought one and I bought one.
When I got them home and started peeling the potatoes, they were white inside. I asked Maureen about it and she said they still tasted like the other ones. So I cooked them and mashed them and started to add the other ingredients. Everything was mixed up but it was a grayish color not orange. So I ran to the grocery store to buy yellow food coloring to add to the red and make the sweet potatoes orange! I wanted it to look like the regular casserole and I couldn't picture me serving up and eating a grey casserole. I asked Kat what she thought and she said why not? So I mixed it in and got my orange sweet potatoes. After Thanksgiving dinner I told James the story and he laughed and said he didn't even notice. Though I wonder what Maureen thought since she knew they were white-grey!!
(yellow and red make orange. Had to double check on that)
(before the color was added)
Everything turned out great!
Turkey, stuffing, gravy, corn, mashed potatoes, green beans, sweet potato casserole, pecan glazed carrots, salad with cranberries and poppy seed dressing, jello, rolls and for dessert apple and cherry pie with whipped topping ( sent from home and made from a dry mix. That stuff is great!)
(Perjuite, Enock's wife, Enock)
After dinner the kids along with Maureens kids did a play of the 1st Thanksgiving. With props and lines that they practiced and everything.
Normally the kids skits are thrown together, laughing, embarrassed wait lets start over, and very long.
SO when they asked to do one I said it needed to be planned and brief. They delivered. It was great and had elements of humor and ended with them quoting a scripture verse.
After that Emma, Richard and Mwansa read the list of things they had written down in school that they were thankful for. So then we all were sitting around the living room and James said that we normally say what we are thankful for as well and so he started thanking the Lord for His gifts and blessings to us and for Grace.
Then he gave others an opportunity to say anything if they wanted. Many of the kids did as well as Maureen, Enock and Perjuite.
The things that they said blessed me so much just to hear them was worth all the effort and time and money spent into serving thanksgiving dinner and sharing it with them.
After we decided to give them the day off and then invite all their families to come and have dinner with us, I began to have second thoughts. "They don't even understand why we are celebrating thanksgiving or what it is about",
This is normally a family holiday when we get together with all our families. Last time it was thanksgiving I said goodbye to my family.
But they were quite excited about coming and James reminded me of the passage in scripture that speaks about when you give a feast invite those to come that can not repay you. And share in the feast with them.
I am so thankful they came.
Quotes from the day:
"You have made my dreams come true!" - Maureen thanking God that her prayers have been answered and that we have plans to employ her full time in the orphan ministry work. She said she often prayed that God would bless her and then she would have to give to the orphans. Now she is being used by God to minister to the orphans.
"I will be dreaming about this food tonight - Enock
"I don't remember when I have been this full". - Maureen
Other comments on the food and that it is very nice. --which coming from Zambians who I noticed don't tend to comment much on food, this was a huge compliment.
…whispered to Kat, "I am not afraid of Mrs. and Mr. Williamson anymore" - Mwansa after having spent the day with us in our home, eating at our table and watching a movie in the evening with our family. (She used to say she was afraid, I think mainly because we are her mom's boss.
"We are Like family"- Maureen of Perjuite and Enock and the workers relationship they have had with each other.
Don't have to come into the yard thinking where will I hid and do my work - (as he did with previously employers) - Enock being thankful that he is working for Employers who know God and fear Him and treat them well.
"I am thankful for mosquitos nets" - Emma reading her list of things she was thankful for.
"I am thankful for Grace"- James, me, and all the kids
When the day started I read a few emails from friends telling us that they were thinking of us on this day. It was all encouraging, though one in particular I cried at.
Pastor Elliot ( a Scotsman) sent a note just saying he was thinking of us. It made me cry that he was thinking of us, and especially being from Scotland they don't celebrate Thanksgiving. But then he made a few comments about the crazy kids and eating turkey and nshima which made me laugh. ( Thanks Robert!)
Kind of like when I smelled the turkey cooking in the kitchen first thing this morning and it also brought tears to my eyes, made me think of my dad and family, but then by the time the food was being set out on the table and I realized this feast was being shared with our friends and it is one unlike any they have ever had, and then when I realized all the food turned out and tasted delicious, I was happy and thankful we all spent the day together! Happy Thanksgiving!
Our evening ended with a skype call to James's family. His immediate family was all gathered we we got to talk with them and see them too. Then they said to call back in 30 minutes and we could see everyone at his grandmother's house that gathers for the annual Thanksgiving meal. When skype turned on, the laptop was sitting at the end of the dinner table and we could look down to the other end and see all his family sitting around. That was a blessing!
At the end of the day James wanted to take a picture of me. I stood where I was which happened to be the wall in the dining room that has this verse written on it. I just realized now, how fitting this is.
I never would have dreamed God's plan for me and His future for me included a thanksgiving celebration in Africa.
I am thankful He plans and directs us every step of the way!
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Cultural Greeting- Handshake
It is polite to shake hands when you greet someone. In fact there is a cool 3 part handshake that we have learned and the kids give a small curtsey/ bow when greeting an adult as well. They have often been told with a smile, "oh you are learning the Zambian ways, that is good" when they greet the proper way.
Often when you greet and are still speaking with someone it is not at all uncommon for them to continue to hold your hand as they speak to you. Initially this took me off guard a bit and I still notice it but it seems less akward now.
It is also very common for men to hold hands as they are talking or even as they are walking somewhere.
For Americans, this is not at all common. ( for my Zambian friends reading, I will say this almost never happens in America)
I was at the shopping centre this week and tried to discreetly take a picture ( with my phone) so you all could see.
I was walking and 2 construction workers were in front of me walking and holding hands.
To say you would rarely see American men holding hands is true, but to know that the "construction workers" in America would never ever hold hands and walk is even more true.
Then I also saw 2 high school boys standing at the escalator.
For us to think about the groups of men that you would never expect to see holding hands I can surely say it would be construction workers and teenage boys.
It is normal to me now though, and in fact there is a sweetness about it as well. That is how they express their friendship and communicate.
The strange things though is that you see less couples ( man and woman) holding hands in public than you do men and men and women and women. That too is cultural, but not necessarily one of the cultural things that we have embraced. ( I like holding James's hand and he mine!)
Often when you greet and are still speaking with someone it is not at all uncommon for them to continue to hold your hand as they speak to you. Initially this took me off guard a bit and I still notice it but it seems less akward now.
It is also very common for men to hold hands as they are talking or even as they are walking somewhere.
For Americans, this is not at all common. ( for my Zambian friends reading, I will say this almost never happens in America)
I was at the shopping centre this week and tried to discreetly take a picture ( with my phone) so you all could see.
I was walking and 2 construction workers were in front of me walking and holding hands.
To say you would rarely see American men holding hands is true, but to know that the "construction workers" in America would never ever hold hands and walk is even more true.
Then I also saw 2 high school boys standing at the escalator.
For us to think about the groups of men that you would never expect to see holding hands I can surely say it would be construction workers and teenage boys.
It is normal to me now though, and in fact there is a sweetness about it as well. That is how they express their friendship and communicate.
The strange things though is that you see less couples ( man and woman) holding hands in public than you do men and men and women and women. That too is cultural, but not necessarily one of the cultural things that we have embraced. ( I like holding James's hand and he mine!)
Sunday, November 21, 2010
See-Saw
One of the things I have really enjoyed seeing here is the innovative ways the kids come up with to play.
This here is a see-saw. Just a thin log put between the crook of the tree and the kids were on it going up and down.
Amazing!
This here is a see-saw. Just a thin log put between the crook of the tree and the kids were on it going up and down.
Amazing!
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Consider
November is National Adoption Month
So I want to take the opportunity to "use" the month and our recent adoption of Grace and say a few things.
The Lord has blessed this blog and I know many are reading it, so I thought I could share something that is obviously very much on my heart!
I think anyone who has every been in the adoption process, or more so who has adopted has heard the statement from others, "well you know, We have thought about adoption…"
That's my appeal right now…consider.
John Piper has said about missions, you should GO, GIVE or SEND.
I think the same can be said about adoption and care of the orphans.
DO it, FUND it, or SUPPORT it.
There are people who seriously have considered and desire to adopt but do not have the money.
Others have a large heart for orphans but are not in a position to bring one in and so they are best suited to support and/ or fund orphan works and adoptions specifically.
There are those who have a heart for orphans and the means ( financially and domestically) to Adopt and have talked about one day adopting, but never do. My appeal to you is DO it! Maybe you just need a gentle nudge to turn the considerations and prayers into action.
We know Adoption is on the heart of God. He is a father to the fatherless. Scripture is clear on caring for the orphans and those in need.
I see the face of orphaned children almost every week. I think everyone knows the statistics, millions of orphans in the world. Whether it is right in your neighborhood, your own country or half a world away, the need is great.
It is sad, hard, emotional and discouraging at times. BUT when God brings the lonely into families both the child AND the parents are blessed beyond measure and there is much JOY. Kind of like when Jesus says there is much rejoicing over one soul that is saved, that is how it is over one child who has been given a chance at a new life. Just like the Father adopts us into His family.
Perhaps the Lord could use YOU to set the lonely into a family.
Perhaps the Lord has a child picked out especially just for YOU, that from before the foundations of the world began He intended to bring them into your home. And whether it is through the heartbreak of barrenness, that the Lord brings about joy through a child adopted, or through having children already and looking at your family and saying, "God will give me the grace, He has already given me the heart, to add just one more…" then step out in faith and do it.
The Lord uses all kinds of families. Those with no children, those with some, those with lots, those with older children- whether biological or adopted they are all children in the Lord's sight. Red and Yellow, black and white, oh how precious in HIS sight.
Consider. Pray. Act.
So I want to take the opportunity to "use" the month and our recent adoption of Grace and say a few things.
The Lord has blessed this blog and I know many are reading it, so I thought I could share something that is obviously very much on my heart!
I think anyone who has every been in the adoption process, or more so who has adopted has heard the statement from others, "well you know, We have thought about adoption…"
That's my appeal right now…consider.
John Piper has said about missions, you should GO, GIVE or SEND.
I think the same can be said about adoption and care of the orphans.
DO it, FUND it, or SUPPORT it.
There are people who seriously have considered and desire to adopt but do not have the money.
Others have a large heart for orphans but are not in a position to bring one in and so they are best suited to support and/ or fund orphan works and adoptions specifically.
There are those who have a heart for orphans and the means ( financially and domestically) to Adopt and have talked about one day adopting, but never do. My appeal to you is DO it! Maybe you just need a gentle nudge to turn the considerations and prayers into action.
We know Adoption is on the heart of God. He is a father to the fatherless. Scripture is clear on caring for the orphans and those in need.
I see the face of orphaned children almost every week. I think everyone knows the statistics, millions of orphans in the world. Whether it is right in your neighborhood, your own country or half a world away, the need is great.
It is sad, hard, emotional and discouraging at times. BUT when God brings the lonely into families both the child AND the parents are blessed beyond measure and there is much JOY. Kind of like when Jesus says there is much rejoicing over one soul that is saved, that is how it is over one child who has been given a chance at a new life. Just like the Father adopts us into His family.
Perhaps the Lord could use YOU to set the lonely into a family.
Perhaps the Lord has a child picked out especially just for YOU, that from before the foundations of the world began He intended to bring them into your home. And whether it is through the heartbreak of barrenness, that the Lord brings about joy through a child adopted, or through having children already and looking at your family and saying, "God will give me the grace, He has already given me the heart, to add just one more…" then step out in faith and do it.
The Lord uses all kinds of families. Those with no children, those with some, those with lots, those with older children- whether biological or adopted they are all children in the Lord's sight. Red and Yellow, black and white, oh how precious in HIS sight.
Consider. Pray. Act.
Story of Grace
I took these posts from my family blog where I chronicled the visits to the orphanage to see Grace before we brought her home. It is the "back story" of how we met her and how the relationship developed. I know several have been interested in the adoption and more details so here it is. It is long so if you are not interested just skip this one and head down to the next post with the video of Grace's adoption process
JOY and GRACE
We wanted to share some joy with you today!
The Lord has blessed our desires and efforts and We have begun the process to adopt a little girl.
We met her a few weeks ago and have been visiting her and writing about our visits. We hope to have her in our home in a couple weeks, to begin the 3 month fostering before the adoption can be conpleted. She is 1 1/2 years old and has been in an orphanage since she was about 6 months old. No one has ever come to visit her....Until now!
If you are interested you can read the daily account below!
Please rejoice with us and pray for a smooth and speedy transition into our home!
Friday ==Day 1
We went to the Social Welfare office. We had been there a few times already and referred by a baby orphanage. We met with the woman 2 weeks before and she had told us to come back after a certain date because the committee was having their quarterly meeting. At this meeting they go through the children and discuss the cases and see who is available for adoption.
When we arrived, we spoke with a woman and she told us that there were not many girls available. Then a few minutes later in discussing she said she had picked out one for us though. She was 19 months old. But before we could go see her and find out about her she needed to find the paper that her and her colleague had written out of the available children and their names. She rummaged around the desk and kept looking under a stack of papers turned upside down under a writing tablet. I am not sure if that was for safe keeping or hiding. She told us that we would have to come back on Monday when she had the paper. She rummaged one more time as she was telling us to come back, and while she rummaged I prayed. Just then she found the paper. It was just a piece of notebook paper that she very willingly showed us with the children's names and ages listed and where they were. Then several of the names had another name off to the side of the social worker who was "taking" the child to refer them to a family. We saw the list and looked and she was the only girl available under 2. That actually made it easy. We didn't choose because God had already chosen her.
We asked a little more about her and which orphanage she was at. It was almost 5 pm, or 17 hours. We decided to go ahead and drive out there anyway. We were directed back to the baby orphanage to see her. When we arrived we asked for the social worker there and was told that she had already left. We went ahead into the baby rooms and asked to see her and told them that we had been directed to them from the Department of Social welfare.
A few women talked to each other looking for her. She had just been moved up to the other orphanage which houses little ones form 18 months to 4 years old. It was very nearby and so we were given directions and decided to go and see if we could find her there and meet her.
We were welcomed warmly ( I think they are used to visitors and volunteers) and brought into the orphanage. It is just a house that is the orphan home. So we came into the living room, where 25 toddlers were all playing, screaming and crying. As soon as we walked in several kids came up to James and I and just started clinging to us. We sat down on the couch. More kids came over and climbed up on our laps, hugging us and laying their heads on our chests and laps.
We asked which one was "BABY". They said something to us and pointed in a direction. There a little child stood not really coming over to us or looking at us. Then they walked out of the room with that little one under their arm. A few minutes later they brought that child back in and then brought her over to us. It was her. I had thought she was a boy because of her short hair and boy clothes she was wearing. She sat with us and we talked to her a few minutes and then we carried her around the house as one of the women gave us a tour of the orphanage. There are 2 bedrooms with 2 sets of bunkbeds in each. 25 kids. A girls room and a boys room, with at least 3 or 4 to a bed. Then they showed us the bathroom with all the little potties lined up. There was a classroom which was also where the kids sat to eat the dinner which was just about then. So we put her down and she walked over to her plate. They all bowed in prayer and then started eating their nshima. rolling it in their little hands and dipping it into the sauce and eating it. We said goodbye and she gave us a little wave and then went right back to eating.
We left and then started the discussion on the drive and over dinner that night, about adopting her!
Saturday==Day 2
We took the kids to see her. All the kids were in the room again and they were all interested in the 7 white people. The kids took turns holding her very briefly because then she wanted to get down or another sibling wanted to hold her. We did notice though she doesn't really like to go to any of the boys or James. That is understandable since she has only had women raising her. Our kids played with the other little ones there as well.
That day she was wearing a fuzzy white coat over a boys sunsuit that was too small.
Tuesday ==Day 3
I went to visit her alone. I walked in to the orphanage and met the head lady.
She invited me to sit down. We talked a few minutes and I told her that we had been here over the weekend to see her.
She said, "oh I heard about you". And then told me she was so happy when the babies find homes. We talked a little more and then I asked if I could see her.
She said oh yes, go right ahead. The orphanage has 2 groups. She is in the younger one, having just transferred from the baby orphanage.
So she was in her classroom. 3 Americans had just walked into the orphanage after me and they are here for 2 weeks volunteering. So, they were already in the classroom off to the side. The woman brought me in and all the children were sitting in tiny chairs, and on the floor. The woman said here is her class and then said lets wait and see. As soon as she saw me walk in, she looked at me and immediately got up out of her seat and came over to me and started giggling.
It was so precious!
I picked her up and started talking to her and she then started laughing! It was not because I was the only muzungu in the room, she was not even paying attention to the others, but she recognized me. The head lady told the teacher as she was walking to me, "This is her mama".
We had only visited her two times of maybe a total of 45 minutes. And she knows me.
I took her out of the classroom and was able to spend time with her by myself again.
I thought on my drive home,
What must that be like, to be sitting there in a room and out of all the kids, she is the one that has been "chosen". And she now knows that someone comes for HER. Not for the other kids, but for her. And not because we knew her and thought she was worthy of a home when all the others were not, but simply because the Lord has been gracious to her!
Sounds very familiar.
Thursday==Day 4
I took Emma and the little boys with me. We walked into the classroom and she seemed a bit more hesitant. She did not come over, but when I went to her, she let me pick her up and we went out of the room. We brought along a few books and the kids took turns reading to her and playing with her. She seemed to like Emma as well and let her carry her around. Crying when she put her down.
Saturday==Day 5
We all wanted to see her. We walked in and were welcomed into the orphanage. It was chaos. There were about 25 kids in the living room area of the house. Some were crying others walking all around not doing anything. We found her and then took her to get some shoes on. They brought out bright pink boots for her. We put them on and took her outside. There was a little chair in the yard so we sat her on it and gave her the sippy cup of milk and a few bites of banana. She liked it, and liked having others hold the cup for her to drink out. Emma then took the little boys to the other side of the yard to play on the swings. The rest of us stayed to read her a few books and dote on her.
Sarah held her and then Ian tried to and she cried and didn't want to go to him. Nor did she want to go to James, or even me. We walked her to the other side by the swings and Sarah held her a few more minutes. then she started fussing and screaming. I took her to try and calm her and that made it worse, so I gave her back to Sarah and she still was screaming and going limp. We walked back to where we were and tried to console her. The gardner came over when he heard her crying and she stopped for a minute. Then I thought maybe she would like to go back inside with the other kids. We went in there and she started crying and screaming. Neither I nor Sarah could console her so we gave her back to the worker and got ready to leave. She watched us go out a few minutes. When we got outside we still could hear her crying and I looked and Sarah was crying. It was so sad. Sarah was wondering if she would ever like us and then earlier she had felt bad that she did not want to come to me.
We explained that she doesn't know what is best for her. But she will learn to love us. And James made a joke about, "It's about time one of the kids likes someone besides mom."
Tuesday==DAY 6 I went to see "BABY" by myself.
She did very well and came to me. I just let her walk instead of picking her up and waited to see where she was going to go and what she was wanting to do.
We walked to the couches and I gave her the sippy cup. She was getting the hang of it now. Even able to drink out of it with the valve in. The first time I gave it to her, she couldn't drink anything out of it and was frustrated. So I spilled some out to show her it was the milk and then she drank some. She is used to a regular cup that spills out and she gulps down.
We read a few books, the Miss spider one that plays music is her favorite. Then we went for a walk outside. She picked up a tiny peach on the ground. We went around and sat down outside on the concrete in the front yard. She was wearing a pretty blue sweater and her hair had been done into sections. She started to take bites of the not yet ripe peach and then spit them out and hand them to me. She continued to do this for quite awhile, in between her sips of juice. I am not sure if that was the cause but a little bit after she just went to the bathroom- diarrhea all over the sidewalk as she was sitting there. I stood her up and we walked into the house toward the bathroom
she really likes these pink boots she was wearing that day. I took her to the toilet and then changed her. I took her clothes off and started to take the boots, she screamed and so I left them on. She then walked with nothing on but her boots, out of the bathroom across the hall to her room to get the dry clothes. Maybe I need to find a pair of pink boots, or offer to buy them from the orphanage when she leaves!
Wednesday ==Day 7
Emma, Caleb and Jackson went with me. We visited her and she mostly wanted to go to Emma. She did fine and then as we were preparing to leave we gave her back to the woman. She walked out with her to say goodbye to us as we were leaving. The kids all were waving heading for the gate, Carol just followed in line and started waving goodbye to the workers and then got to the gate and when she didn't go out with us she started crying! Jackson was so cute that day he said, "I know… we should pray for her! " We pray all the time at home, but he thought to pray right there with her.! So sweet.
Wednesday we also had our interview. I am amazed at how "easy" it is so far. The home assesment she literally walked in looked around said she liked the house sat down had a drink of water and said ok I have seen the place....So unlike the last time in USA.
I sat down in the office and had to wait for a long time for the woman to get ready. She finally came back in the room and just a few minutes later two co-workers/friends came in and sat down. She chatted with them off and on throughout the whole interview, apologizing off and on too at the distractions and that they was no other place to go that was private.
So right there, sitting in a government office with no lightbulb, and a woman passing through the hallway with a baby on her back, a basket on her head with dead fish that she was selling, I gave the information and answered the question, "Why do you want to adopt?". That answer was simple, … I told her There are so many orphans, children abandoned that don't have anyone and we want to bring one of those children into our home to love and care for them. To make them part of our family. That was the answer. Simple and short.
And I think about all the time and energy and money and time and energy and money and time and energy that was expended to seek to adopt before. References, referrals, a note from our pediatrician that all our kids were current on their vaccinations. A note from our vet that our dog was safe to be around…police checks, background checks, more doctor visits… And it all comes down to that question. "Why do you want to adopt?".
Thursday==Day 8
We brought Pastor Elliot and Borgman there to see the children at the orphanage. We saw her and she played with Emma and James. ( The other kids didn't come).
We had her sippy cup and she saw a few other kids and waved it to them and then pulled it against her chest. She was bragging to her friends, I have a cup and it's mine!
She had done that another day when I was holding her, she pulled her arm into her chest the same way "saying" she's mine.
While we were outside a young American couple walked in and "BABY" immediately turned to get down and walked over to the woman. She picked her up, not really aware I think of what was going on. Then the head worker brought another girl over to them.
We chatted a few minutes later and they are with Love basket, just arrived 2 days ago and are seeking to adopt a girl under 2.
For some strange reason they were told about "BABY" and visited her yesterday. Well I guess either yesterday or today they found out that no she is not available and then were there to visit another girl, who was slightly older. Very weird. Then even as we were talking later she went back to her.
When we tried to take her away from the area earlier , initially I brought her inside and she threw a huge fit screaming and even said, "MAMA" referring to this other lady.
It was all awkward and strange. The woman felt bad and confused I am sure.
We talked with them about adoption and sounds like they were told now that there are no girl under age 2 available in Zambia. I do feel for them. Jet-lagged I am sure and then confused by the policies and ways of another country. They have 2 kids back home.
SO reminded me of Ukraine. It is crazy how they can say that and know its not true, but ultimately there were only about 15 kids on the list of "Adoptable" when we met with the social worker a few weeks ago, I saw the list.
All the other kids are either not registered with the social welfare or have a relative come visit them occasionally or were dropped of and told that someone would be coming back for them soon. She said the last person that came through love basket came and was home in a month. That just depends on the judge I guess, whether they have to foster 3 months or not. I really want to look into that later and figure it all out if we can help others to adopt and avoid the 3 month foster period...
It was all friendly and amicable but just strange. Robert Elliot said how great that was that we were there when they came today just to re-confirm that she is "taken" in that sense. Makes me wonder though who said she was available and if it was intentional or an oversight of paperwork to know, but we have been there several times a week for the last 2 weeks. Even in God's providence I was there yesterday and the head lady was talking to me and then brought out a sheet of paper with some fund raiser for her church. I contributed to it and she was so thankful and pleased.
Who knows if that helped, not at all in a bad way but just a way that she remembered yes, she is now becoming attached to me and that she was disposed favorable to me then. Who knows...
Tuesday==Day 9
I arrived earlier at the orphanage today so she had just gone into her class. As I walked down the hallway I heard different kids crying and then also the teacher singing, "there are seven days in the week…" I opened the door and then said hello and started looking for the little sweetpea. The kids were sitting face the other way so I was having trouble finding her quickly. I saw one girl wearing the same thing she had on last time I was there but then realized that wasn't her. Thankfully she got up saw me started crying a little and came over to me. I picked her up and we headed out of there. We went to the living room to sit down. I got the regular books out and her milk. She didn't seem to interested in drinking but in playing with my phone and keys. She also really likes the "That's not my bear" Usborne book. It has all the neat things to feel.
We played a little bit then went outside. It was colder and I didn't bother to ask about the shoes so I carried her around. We found a piece a tiny piece of a pipe fitting on the window sill and so she held that for a while. I then sang to her, the bedtime song that I have sang to all my kids. She became real still and listened as I sang and kind of rocked her as we walked back and forth. I could tell she was getting sleepy. She was facing me and had her head near my chest. Every now and then she brought it close as if to lay it down but then didn't. A couple times I gently tried to lay it down and then she popped right up. So we did that for a little while and then she became more alert and wanted to do something different. So we walked a little more and then I took the piece of piping and put it back on the window.
Well she certainly did not have that as part of her plan. She screamed and cried and lunged backward, went limp..etc you get the idea. Big time throwing a fit.
I decided to stick to it, she didn't need the pipe anymore and took her around to look at something else. She was not having it and continued the screaming. We came inside to get the books or the cup and she continued. I set her down to see , if she was wanting to go somewhere or what and she just screamed rolled around on the floor, crying and somewhat delirious it seemed. After several minutes one of the workers came in and asked what was wrong. I said well I took something away. To which they said, "Oh baby..Sorry sorry." Then one woman took her to see if she would stop crying. She settled some but then reached back for me. I took her again. Then she reached back for the worker. Then she reached again for me. So I took her and then the woman left. The head lady came over a few minutes later and started talking to us. By that time she settled down and was able to drink her cup. I held her in my arms as if she was drinking a bottle and she drank and drank and fell asleep right there.
I knew she was tired. But also confused going back and forth to me to the worker…The head lady said, "Oh she is mad at you because you did not come visit her yesterday.."
I kept her in my arms and laying on my chest for about 20 minutes. She was sound asleep and even quietly snoring. As I sat there with her I thought about her as an infant without a mother. Today at 20 months old, was the first time she fell asleep in her mama's arms and laid on her chest.
The woman that gave her life and brought her into this world, died soon after her birth. But Lord Willing, she will now know a mother's love. The Lord has been gracious to this little girl in giving her a home. And gracious to us in giving her.
UNDERSTANDING
I saw her yesterday.
I always have a cup of milk and have started bringing a banana with me to give her. We have a routine now, she looks in the bag to see all that is in there and then gets her milk. I bring the same books, which has been neat to see her recognize and like to do the same things over. She was in the hallway when I arrived with a couple of older boys. They might have escaped from the class they were in. Having left maybe to use the bathroom.
So when I saw her she walked over and lifted her arms up. I took her over to the couch where we sat down. Immediately three older boys came over and started trying to take her cup and "her books". It was hard to decide what to do, but I decided to leave and take her outside. I am sure the boys needed attention and would love the books and to eat her banana. But I am working on developing time and a relationship with her and I realized she felt threatened with me and the others around.
So we went outside to eat and read. That went fine. Later we went inside to change her wet clothes.
Side note: They claim she is potty trained. Every time I get her she is wet and within the hour she wets again. Probably b/c she drinks a cup of milk too. But one of the first times I noticed she was VERY thirsty when she drank her Tea at snack time. Yes all the kids drink tea. So all the kids really walk around wet. After the first day visiting I just go into the room where all the clothes are and try to find something for her to wear. There are alot of clothes but all very big and then no bottoms or if the have bottoms then they put underwear on that is too big.
So we went to find something to change her into. I sat her down on the bed with her cup and a baby rattle. immediately these same boys came over and grabbed stuff from her and she started crying, and trying to defend herself.
I looked and then was struck with a new understanding of her. It is a fight to live in an orphanage.
Kids take things from each other in every family. But in homes where parents are concerned and love their kids, they don't just let it happen without consequence. Here the kids have to fight to keep anything including food.
It broke my heart a few weeks ago to see a little boy, as sweet as can be, savoring his last morsel of food. All the kids were outside playing and I sat next to him on the mat. I watched and for about 10 minutes, he had a tiny ( and I do mean tiny) piece of bread. He put it in and took it out of his mouth and held it and then put it back in and out for 10 minutes.
That is life in an orphanage. And this is a good one where the kids do eat 3 meals a day, and have some little bit of protein with their nshima.
Yesterday one of the boys had an older brother who came to visit him in the orphanage. He left a few minutes after I got there, and the little boy just stood at the door and cried and cried. Huge streams of tears down his cheeks.
One of the workers came and got him after a few minutes and walked around holding him.
It was only him in the hallway and our little one.
Sweet story for that day, was that she went over to him and gave him one of "her toys" that I had brought for her. It was so sweet. I praised her for sharing it with him and told her what a good girl.
This was so happy to see because just a few minutes later she was throwing a fit on the floor, screaming and crying because she couldn't go into the kitchen like she wanted.
I am usually a bit apprehensive as to what to do during those times, in the orphanage.
But as I tried to hold onto her as she was starting to buckle under and lay on the floor, she made eye contact with me and cried out "Mama" and I felt pity for her.
I wasn't upset that she was throwing this fit, but rather saw it as what it really is for her right now, a cry for help.
She needs someone to love her enough to say no you can't always have what you want, and not just give in to avoid the tears.
I don't know if this is more her "testing" me, but I know she needs love. True love, which seeks what is best for her.
I am sure every parent knows, a child needs boundaries and though they may initial "buck" at them, it is what makes them feel safe, secure and loved.
Another piece of information I heard the other day is that they get these little ones up at 5 in the morning.
I am sure that adds to the crankiness of some at any rate.
But the more time I am spending with her, the more I feel like I am Starting to understand her.
MORE VISITS
The last few visits it has been getting more difficult to leave her.
Monday I went with the boys to see her. She had her tea. Here are a few pictures. Ian was helping her hold the cup.
As soon as they put it in front of her before I could even get to her fast enough she took a drink, steam still rising out of it and then spilled it down her front. Hot! Now why do they give tea to babies????
Later I put her in the chitenge and walked around with her, she was fine for a minute and then started crying and screaming. I knew she was tired and within 3 minutes I think she was out. Fast asleep. It was sweet.
Then Tuesday I went with Emma. She did well. Emma had her on the swing outside and I went back inside to get something. She hopped off and started saying Mama and walking toward the house. That too was so sweet.
When it was time to go we went back into her class because I heard them singing and thought maybe it would be easier to leave her in her class with her friends. Apparently not. We stayed in there about 10 minutes singing with the other kids. Emma held her and I picked up another cute little boy who was soaked through. Just dripping wet almost. He immediately put his head on me and started sucking his thumb. He is one of the youngest also, part of the group of 6 which included BABY and another girl being adopted that came over from the other orphanage at the same time.
When it was time to go, not only did we have BABY crying but this little boy as well.
It seemed like it was worse.
Then today James and I went to visit her briefly. It was nice for both of us to go again. We brought her outside since all the kids were in the living room. We gave her the milk and banana and read the books. Then we played peekabo and blew kisses. James was pointing to me saying Mama and touching my arm. Then she looked down and started touching my arm too. Then he pointed at himself and said, "Daddy" and then she touched him where he was pointing. Then we pointed to her and said her name.
We then walked over to the swing. I put her in it and then she fussed to get out. So I got her out. Then she reached back to get in, so I put her in, then she fussed so I took her out. Then I set her down on the ground to see what she wanted and she walked over to the swing, took the 5 leaves or so that were in the baby swing out one by one and then proceeded to climb in the swing. James then pushed her (higher and faster than I ever have) and she was laughing and loving it the whole time!
When it was time to go we went back inside to visit with her and the other kids because we knew dinner was already in the kitchen so they would be eating soon. Again I was thinking this would be an easier way to leave. Turns out once again not so. As soon as we came in I sat on the floor with her and other kids came over and she was not at all happy. Crying and screaming and trying to push the kids away from her and me. Again this was hard to see. 2 factors. Her temper and her fear. The first, not good, but the second totally understandable.
I knew exactly why. Kids take toys, and food away from her why is "her mom" any different. She thinks they will take that away too. We wanted to give some of the other kids the love and attention as well the last few minutes we were there, but that did not happen.
So we left and as we were driving away I told James it is getting harder and harder to leave her there. He said it shouldn't be much longer, maybe a couple weeks.
We have all been praying that we would hear something this week.
Even as we were driving to the orphanage I told James, it is something that we are back to the "waiting for the call" stage!
More later!
The more later was that very night James and I were eating dinner out and we got a call from our social worker saying to come and get the papers and within a few days we would get her and bring her home!
JOY and GRACE
We wanted to share some joy with you today!
The Lord has blessed our desires and efforts and We have begun the process to adopt a little girl.
We met her a few weeks ago and have been visiting her and writing about our visits. We hope to have her in our home in a couple weeks, to begin the 3 month fostering before the adoption can be conpleted. She is 1 1/2 years old and has been in an orphanage since she was about 6 months old. No one has ever come to visit her....Until now!
If you are interested you can read the daily account below!
Please rejoice with us and pray for a smooth and speedy transition into our home!
Friday ==Day 1
We went to the Social Welfare office. We had been there a few times already and referred by a baby orphanage. We met with the woman 2 weeks before and she had told us to come back after a certain date because the committee was having their quarterly meeting. At this meeting they go through the children and discuss the cases and see who is available for adoption.
When we arrived, we spoke with a woman and she told us that there were not many girls available. Then a few minutes later in discussing she said she had picked out one for us though. She was 19 months old. But before we could go see her and find out about her she needed to find the paper that her and her colleague had written out of the available children and their names. She rummaged around the desk and kept looking under a stack of papers turned upside down under a writing tablet. I am not sure if that was for safe keeping or hiding. She told us that we would have to come back on Monday when she had the paper. She rummaged one more time as she was telling us to come back, and while she rummaged I prayed. Just then she found the paper. It was just a piece of notebook paper that she very willingly showed us with the children's names and ages listed and where they were. Then several of the names had another name off to the side of the social worker who was "taking" the child to refer them to a family. We saw the list and looked and she was the only girl available under 2. That actually made it easy. We didn't choose because God had already chosen her.
We asked a little more about her and which orphanage she was at. It was almost 5 pm, or 17 hours. We decided to go ahead and drive out there anyway. We were directed back to the baby orphanage to see her. When we arrived we asked for the social worker there and was told that she had already left. We went ahead into the baby rooms and asked to see her and told them that we had been directed to them from the Department of Social welfare.
A few women talked to each other looking for her. She had just been moved up to the other orphanage which houses little ones form 18 months to 4 years old. It was very nearby and so we were given directions and decided to go and see if we could find her there and meet her.
We were welcomed warmly ( I think they are used to visitors and volunteers) and brought into the orphanage. It is just a house that is the orphan home. So we came into the living room, where 25 toddlers were all playing, screaming and crying. As soon as we walked in several kids came up to James and I and just started clinging to us. We sat down on the couch. More kids came over and climbed up on our laps, hugging us and laying their heads on our chests and laps.
We asked which one was "BABY". They said something to us and pointed in a direction. There a little child stood not really coming over to us or looking at us. Then they walked out of the room with that little one under their arm. A few minutes later they brought that child back in and then brought her over to us. It was her. I had thought she was a boy because of her short hair and boy clothes she was wearing. She sat with us and we talked to her a few minutes and then we carried her around the house as one of the women gave us a tour of the orphanage. There are 2 bedrooms with 2 sets of bunkbeds in each. 25 kids. A girls room and a boys room, with at least 3 or 4 to a bed. Then they showed us the bathroom with all the little potties lined up. There was a classroom which was also where the kids sat to eat the dinner which was just about then. So we put her down and she walked over to her plate. They all bowed in prayer and then started eating their nshima. rolling it in their little hands and dipping it into the sauce and eating it. We said goodbye and she gave us a little wave and then went right back to eating.
We left and then started the discussion on the drive and over dinner that night, about adopting her!
Saturday==Day 2
We took the kids to see her. All the kids were in the room again and they were all interested in the 7 white people. The kids took turns holding her very briefly because then she wanted to get down or another sibling wanted to hold her. We did notice though she doesn't really like to go to any of the boys or James. That is understandable since she has only had women raising her. Our kids played with the other little ones there as well.
That day she was wearing a fuzzy white coat over a boys sunsuit that was too small.
Tuesday ==Day 3
I went to visit her alone. I walked in to the orphanage and met the head lady.
She invited me to sit down. We talked a few minutes and I told her that we had been here over the weekend to see her.
She said, "oh I heard about you". And then told me she was so happy when the babies find homes. We talked a little more and then I asked if I could see her.
She said oh yes, go right ahead. The orphanage has 2 groups. She is in the younger one, having just transferred from the baby orphanage.
So she was in her classroom. 3 Americans had just walked into the orphanage after me and they are here for 2 weeks volunteering. So, they were already in the classroom off to the side. The woman brought me in and all the children were sitting in tiny chairs, and on the floor. The woman said here is her class and then said lets wait and see. As soon as she saw me walk in, she looked at me and immediately got up out of her seat and came over to me and started giggling.
It was so precious!
I picked her up and started talking to her and she then started laughing! It was not because I was the only muzungu in the room, she was not even paying attention to the others, but she recognized me. The head lady told the teacher as she was walking to me, "This is her mama".
We had only visited her two times of maybe a total of 45 minutes. And she knows me.
I took her out of the classroom and was able to spend time with her by myself again.
I thought on my drive home,
What must that be like, to be sitting there in a room and out of all the kids, she is the one that has been "chosen". And she now knows that someone comes for HER. Not for the other kids, but for her. And not because we knew her and thought she was worthy of a home when all the others were not, but simply because the Lord has been gracious to her!
Sounds very familiar.
Thursday==Day 4
I took Emma and the little boys with me. We walked into the classroom and she seemed a bit more hesitant. She did not come over, but when I went to her, she let me pick her up and we went out of the room. We brought along a few books and the kids took turns reading to her and playing with her. She seemed to like Emma as well and let her carry her around. Crying when she put her down.
Saturday==Day 5
We all wanted to see her. We walked in and were welcomed into the orphanage. It was chaos. There were about 25 kids in the living room area of the house. Some were crying others walking all around not doing anything. We found her and then took her to get some shoes on. They brought out bright pink boots for her. We put them on and took her outside. There was a little chair in the yard so we sat her on it and gave her the sippy cup of milk and a few bites of banana. She liked it, and liked having others hold the cup for her to drink out. Emma then took the little boys to the other side of the yard to play on the swings. The rest of us stayed to read her a few books and dote on her.
Sarah held her and then Ian tried to and she cried and didn't want to go to him. Nor did she want to go to James, or even me. We walked her to the other side by the swings and Sarah held her a few more minutes. then she started fussing and screaming. I took her to try and calm her and that made it worse, so I gave her back to Sarah and she still was screaming and going limp. We walked back to where we were and tried to console her. The gardner came over when he heard her crying and she stopped for a minute. Then I thought maybe she would like to go back inside with the other kids. We went in there and she started crying and screaming. Neither I nor Sarah could console her so we gave her back to the worker and got ready to leave. She watched us go out a few minutes. When we got outside we still could hear her crying and I looked and Sarah was crying. It was so sad. Sarah was wondering if she would ever like us and then earlier she had felt bad that she did not want to come to me.
We explained that she doesn't know what is best for her. But she will learn to love us. And James made a joke about, "It's about time one of the kids likes someone besides mom."
Tuesday==DAY 6 I went to see "BABY" by myself.
She did very well and came to me. I just let her walk instead of picking her up and waited to see where she was going to go and what she was wanting to do.
We walked to the couches and I gave her the sippy cup. She was getting the hang of it now. Even able to drink out of it with the valve in. The first time I gave it to her, she couldn't drink anything out of it and was frustrated. So I spilled some out to show her it was the milk and then she drank some. She is used to a regular cup that spills out and she gulps down.
We read a few books, the Miss spider one that plays music is her favorite. Then we went for a walk outside. She picked up a tiny peach on the ground. We went around and sat down outside on the concrete in the front yard. She was wearing a pretty blue sweater and her hair had been done into sections. She started to take bites of the not yet ripe peach and then spit them out and hand them to me. She continued to do this for quite awhile, in between her sips of juice. I am not sure if that was the cause but a little bit after she just went to the bathroom- diarrhea all over the sidewalk as she was sitting there. I stood her up and we walked into the house toward the bathroom
she really likes these pink boots she was wearing that day. I took her to the toilet and then changed her. I took her clothes off and started to take the boots, she screamed and so I left them on. She then walked with nothing on but her boots, out of the bathroom across the hall to her room to get the dry clothes. Maybe I need to find a pair of pink boots, or offer to buy them from the orphanage when she leaves!
Wednesday ==Day 7
Emma, Caleb and Jackson went with me. We visited her and she mostly wanted to go to Emma. She did fine and then as we were preparing to leave we gave her back to the woman. She walked out with her to say goodbye to us as we were leaving. The kids all were waving heading for the gate, Carol just followed in line and started waving goodbye to the workers and then got to the gate and when she didn't go out with us she started crying! Jackson was so cute that day he said, "I know… we should pray for her! " We pray all the time at home, but he thought to pray right there with her.! So sweet.
Wednesday we also had our interview. I am amazed at how "easy" it is so far. The home assesment she literally walked in looked around said she liked the house sat down had a drink of water and said ok I have seen the place....So unlike the last time in USA.
I sat down in the office and had to wait for a long time for the woman to get ready. She finally came back in the room and just a few minutes later two co-workers/friends came in and sat down. She chatted with them off and on throughout the whole interview, apologizing off and on too at the distractions and that they was no other place to go that was private.
So right there, sitting in a government office with no lightbulb, and a woman passing through the hallway with a baby on her back, a basket on her head with dead fish that she was selling, I gave the information and answered the question, "Why do you want to adopt?". That answer was simple, … I told her There are so many orphans, children abandoned that don't have anyone and we want to bring one of those children into our home to love and care for them. To make them part of our family. That was the answer. Simple and short.
And I think about all the time and energy and money and time and energy and money and time and energy that was expended to seek to adopt before. References, referrals, a note from our pediatrician that all our kids were current on their vaccinations. A note from our vet that our dog was safe to be around…police checks, background checks, more doctor visits… And it all comes down to that question. "Why do you want to adopt?".
Thursday==Day 8
We brought Pastor Elliot and Borgman there to see the children at the orphanage. We saw her and she played with Emma and James. ( The other kids didn't come).
We had her sippy cup and she saw a few other kids and waved it to them and then pulled it against her chest. She was bragging to her friends, I have a cup and it's mine!
She had done that another day when I was holding her, she pulled her arm into her chest the same way "saying" she's mine.
While we were outside a young American couple walked in and "BABY" immediately turned to get down and walked over to the woman. She picked her up, not really aware I think of what was going on. Then the head worker brought another girl over to them.
We chatted a few minutes later and they are with Love basket, just arrived 2 days ago and are seeking to adopt a girl under 2.
For some strange reason they were told about "BABY" and visited her yesterday. Well I guess either yesterday or today they found out that no she is not available and then were there to visit another girl, who was slightly older. Very weird. Then even as we were talking later she went back to her.
When we tried to take her away from the area earlier , initially I brought her inside and she threw a huge fit screaming and even said, "MAMA" referring to this other lady.
It was all awkward and strange. The woman felt bad and confused I am sure.
We talked with them about adoption and sounds like they were told now that there are no girl under age 2 available in Zambia. I do feel for them. Jet-lagged I am sure and then confused by the policies and ways of another country. They have 2 kids back home.
SO reminded me of Ukraine. It is crazy how they can say that and know its not true, but ultimately there were only about 15 kids on the list of "Adoptable" when we met with the social worker a few weeks ago, I saw the list.
All the other kids are either not registered with the social welfare or have a relative come visit them occasionally or were dropped of and told that someone would be coming back for them soon. She said the last person that came through love basket came and was home in a month. That just depends on the judge I guess, whether they have to foster 3 months or not. I really want to look into that later and figure it all out if we can help others to adopt and avoid the 3 month foster period...
It was all friendly and amicable but just strange. Robert Elliot said how great that was that we were there when they came today just to re-confirm that she is "taken" in that sense. Makes me wonder though who said she was available and if it was intentional or an oversight of paperwork to know, but we have been there several times a week for the last 2 weeks. Even in God's providence I was there yesterday and the head lady was talking to me and then brought out a sheet of paper with some fund raiser for her church. I contributed to it and she was so thankful and pleased.
Who knows if that helped, not at all in a bad way but just a way that she remembered yes, she is now becoming attached to me and that she was disposed favorable to me then. Who knows...
Tuesday==Day 9
I arrived earlier at the orphanage today so she had just gone into her class. As I walked down the hallway I heard different kids crying and then also the teacher singing, "there are seven days in the week…" I opened the door and then said hello and started looking for the little sweetpea. The kids were sitting face the other way so I was having trouble finding her quickly. I saw one girl wearing the same thing she had on last time I was there but then realized that wasn't her. Thankfully she got up saw me started crying a little and came over to me. I picked her up and we headed out of there. We went to the living room to sit down. I got the regular books out and her milk. She didn't seem to interested in drinking but in playing with my phone and keys. She also really likes the "That's not my bear" Usborne book. It has all the neat things to feel.
We played a little bit then went outside. It was colder and I didn't bother to ask about the shoes so I carried her around. We found a piece a tiny piece of a pipe fitting on the window sill and so she held that for a while. I then sang to her, the bedtime song that I have sang to all my kids. She became real still and listened as I sang and kind of rocked her as we walked back and forth. I could tell she was getting sleepy. She was facing me and had her head near my chest. Every now and then she brought it close as if to lay it down but then didn't. A couple times I gently tried to lay it down and then she popped right up. So we did that for a little while and then she became more alert and wanted to do something different. So we walked a little more and then I took the piece of piping and put it back on the window.
Well she certainly did not have that as part of her plan. She screamed and cried and lunged backward, went limp..etc you get the idea. Big time throwing a fit.
I decided to stick to it, she didn't need the pipe anymore and took her around to look at something else. She was not having it and continued the screaming. We came inside to get the books or the cup and she continued. I set her down to see , if she was wanting to go somewhere or what and she just screamed rolled around on the floor, crying and somewhat delirious it seemed. After several minutes one of the workers came in and asked what was wrong. I said well I took something away. To which they said, "Oh baby..Sorry sorry." Then one woman took her to see if she would stop crying. She settled some but then reached back for me. I took her again. Then she reached back for the worker. Then she reached again for me. So I took her and then the woman left. The head lady came over a few minutes later and started talking to us. By that time she settled down and was able to drink her cup. I held her in my arms as if she was drinking a bottle and she drank and drank and fell asleep right there.
I knew she was tired. But also confused going back and forth to me to the worker…The head lady said, "Oh she is mad at you because you did not come visit her yesterday.."
I kept her in my arms and laying on my chest for about 20 minutes. She was sound asleep and even quietly snoring. As I sat there with her I thought about her as an infant without a mother. Today at 20 months old, was the first time she fell asleep in her mama's arms and laid on her chest.
The woman that gave her life and brought her into this world, died soon after her birth. But Lord Willing, she will now know a mother's love. The Lord has been gracious to this little girl in giving her a home. And gracious to us in giving her.
UNDERSTANDING
I saw her yesterday.
I always have a cup of milk and have started bringing a banana with me to give her. We have a routine now, she looks in the bag to see all that is in there and then gets her milk. I bring the same books, which has been neat to see her recognize and like to do the same things over. She was in the hallway when I arrived with a couple of older boys. They might have escaped from the class they were in. Having left maybe to use the bathroom.
So when I saw her she walked over and lifted her arms up. I took her over to the couch where we sat down. Immediately three older boys came over and started trying to take her cup and "her books". It was hard to decide what to do, but I decided to leave and take her outside. I am sure the boys needed attention and would love the books and to eat her banana. But I am working on developing time and a relationship with her and I realized she felt threatened with me and the others around.
So we went outside to eat and read. That went fine. Later we went inside to change her wet clothes.
Side note: They claim she is potty trained. Every time I get her she is wet and within the hour she wets again. Probably b/c she drinks a cup of milk too. But one of the first times I noticed she was VERY thirsty when she drank her Tea at snack time. Yes all the kids drink tea. So all the kids really walk around wet. After the first day visiting I just go into the room where all the clothes are and try to find something for her to wear. There are alot of clothes but all very big and then no bottoms or if the have bottoms then they put underwear on that is too big.
So we went to find something to change her into. I sat her down on the bed with her cup and a baby rattle. immediately these same boys came over and grabbed stuff from her and she started crying, and trying to defend herself.
I looked and then was struck with a new understanding of her. It is a fight to live in an orphanage.
Kids take things from each other in every family. But in homes where parents are concerned and love their kids, they don't just let it happen without consequence. Here the kids have to fight to keep anything including food.
It broke my heart a few weeks ago to see a little boy, as sweet as can be, savoring his last morsel of food. All the kids were outside playing and I sat next to him on the mat. I watched and for about 10 minutes, he had a tiny ( and I do mean tiny) piece of bread. He put it in and took it out of his mouth and held it and then put it back in and out for 10 minutes.
That is life in an orphanage. And this is a good one where the kids do eat 3 meals a day, and have some little bit of protein with their nshima.
Yesterday one of the boys had an older brother who came to visit him in the orphanage. He left a few minutes after I got there, and the little boy just stood at the door and cried and cried. Huge streams of tears down his cheeks.
One of the workers came and got him after a few minutes and walked around holding him.
It was only him in the hallway and our little one.
Sweet story for that day, was that she went over to him and gave him one of "her toys" that I had brought for her. It was so sweet. I praised her for sharing it with him and told her what a good girl.
This was so happy to see because just a few minutes later she was throwing a fit on the floor, screaming and crying because she couldn't go into the kitchen like she wanted.
I am usually a bit apprehensive as to what to do during those times, in the orphanage.
But as I tried to hold onto her as she was starting to buckle under and lay on the floor, she made eye contact with me and cried out "Mama" and I felt pity for her.
I wasn't upset that she was throwing this fit, but rather saw it as what it really is for her right now, a cry for help.
She needs someone to love her enough to say no you can't always have what you want, and not just give in to avoid the tears.
I don't know if this is more her "testing" me, but I know she needs love. True love, which seeks what is best for her.
I am sure every parent knows, a child needs boundaries and though they may initial "buck" at them, it is what makes them feel safe, secure and loved.
Another piece of information I heard the other day is that they get these little ones up at 5 in the morning.
I am sure that adds to the crankiness of some at any rate.
But the more time I am spending with her, the more I feel like I am Starting to understand her.
MORE VISITS
The last few visits it has been getting more difficult to leave her.
Monday I went with the boys to see her. She had her tea. Here are a few pictures. Ian was helping her hold the cup.
As soon as they put it in front of her before I could even get to her fast enough she took a drink, steam still rising out of it and then spilled it down her front. Hot! Now why do they give tea to babies????
Later I put her in the chitenge and walked around with her, she was fine for a minute and then started crying and screaming. I knew she was tired and within 3 minutes I think she was out. Fast asleep. It was sweet.
Then Tuesday I went with Emma. She did well. Emma had her on the swing outside and I went back inside to get something. She hopped off and started saying Mama and walking toward the house. That too was so sweet.
When it was time to go we went back into her class because I heard them singing and thought maybe it would be easier to leave her in her class with her friends. Apparently not. We stayed in there about 10 minutes singing with the other kids. Emma held her and I picked up another cute little boy who was soaked through. Just dripping wet almost. He immediately put his head on me and started sucking his thumb. He is one of the youngest also, part of the group of 6 which included BABY and another girl being adopted that came over from the other orphanage at the same time.
When it was time to go, not only did we have BABY crying but this little boy as well.
It seemed like it was worse.
Then today James and I went to visit her briefly. It was nice for both of us to go again. We brought her outside since all the kids were in the living room. We gave her the milk and banana and read the books. Then we played peekabo and blew kisses. James was pointing to me saying Mama and touching my arm. Then she looked down and started touching my arm too. Then he pointed at himself and said, "Daddy" and then she touched him where he was pointing. Then we pointed to her and said her name.
We then walked over to the swing. I put her in it and then she fussed to get out. So I got her out. Then she reached back to get in, so I put her in, then she fussed so I took her out. Then I set her down on the ground to see what she wanted and she walked over to the swing, took the 5 leaves or so that were in the baby swing out one by one and then proceeded to climb in the swing. James then pushed her (higher and faster than I ever have) and she was laughing and loving it the whole time!
When it was time to go we went back inside to visit with her and the other kids because we knew dinner was already in the kitchen so they would be eating soon. Again I was thinking this would be an easier way to leave. Turns out once again not so. As soon as we came in I sat on the floor with her and other kids came over and she was not at all happy. Crying and screaming and trying to push the kids away from her and me. Again this was hard to see. 2 factors. Her temper and her fear. The first, not good, but the second totally understandable.
I knew exactly why. Kids take toys, and food away from her why is "her mom" any different. She thinks they will take that away too. We wanted to give some of the other kids the love and attention as well the last few minutes we were there, but that did not happen.
So we left and as we were driving away I told James it is getting harder and harder to leave her there. He said it shouldn't be much longer, maybe a couple weeks.
We have all been praying that we would hear something this week.
Even as we were driving to the orphanage I told James, it is something that we are back to the "waiting for the call" stage!
More later!
The more later was that very night James and I were eating dinner out and we got a call from our social worker saying to come and get the papers and within a few days we would get her and bring her home!
Grace's Adoption Video
A video of the adoption of Grace.
Some of you know, but others don't that 3 years ago the Lord put adoption fervently on our hearts and the once talked about desires took action and we started the process to adopt a baby from Ukraine. We got all the way through the process, even traveled to Ukraine but we came home empty handed and broken hearted. The Lord used our time in Ukraine and taught us and it only "fueled the fire" for adopting.
God used our desire to adopt internationally to open my eyes more to the needs in the world and to missions more specifically.
Because we were looking into the communist soviet union I started reading about the life of Richard Wurmbrand. The Voice of the Martyrs founder. Reading about those that have been imprisoned and tortured for their faith certainly made me see how weak and shallow our own lives can be at times. Just having my eyes opened then as well to all the other people in various places in the world. Since James had already been traveling yearly to Africa since 2006, Zambia was the natural choice and fit.
Now that we have Grace we see the Lord's hand in her life as well. One interesting thing we learned recently. She was born in October 2008. It was actually, the very same week ( if not day) that we were eagerly, and I do mean Eagerly waiting for the phone call that told us of our travel date to Ukraine. SO the very week of her birth, our dossier was approved and we were told to come to Ukraine.
In one sense you could say had we not pursued adopting in Ukraine we would not have come to Africa and had we not come to Africa we would not have Grace. At least that's how God used things in my own heart and life.
So we thank God for His Grace to us and for giving GRACE to us!
Some of you know, but others don't that 3 years ago the Lord put adoption fervently on our hearts and the once talked about desires took action and we started the process to adopt a baby from Ukraine. We got all the way through the process, even traveled to Ukraine but we came home empty handed and broken hearted. The Lord used our time in Ukraine and taught us and it only "fueled the fire" for adopting.
God used our desire to adopt internationally to open my eyes more to the needs in the world and to missions more specifically.
Because we were looking into the communist soviet union I started reading about the life of Richard Wurmbrand. The Voice of the Martyrs founder. Reading about those that have been imprisoned and tortured for their faith certainly made me see how weak and shallow our own lives can be at times. Just having my eyes opened then as well to all the other people in various places in the world. Since James had already been traveling yearly to Africa since 2006, Zambia was the natural choice and fit.
Now that we have Grace we see the Lord's hand in her life as well. One interesting thing we learned recently. She was born in October 2008. It was actually, the very same week ( if not day) that we were eagerly, and I do mean Eagerly waiting for the phone call that told us of our travel date to Ukraine. SO the very week of her birth, our dossier was approved and we were told to come to Ukraine.
In one sense you could say had we not pursued adopting in Ukraine we would not have come to Africa and had we not come to Africa we would not have Grace. At least that's how God used things in my own heart and life.
So we thank God for His Grace to us and for giving GRACE to us!
Grace's Adoption Video from megan Williamson on Vimeo.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Sharing a Meal
About a month ago, one of the boys, Francis that we sponsor in Kabanana asked if we ate nshima. I said yes and then he asked if he could cook a meal for us sometime and we come and eat with him. I told him that would be nice and thank you. So since that time I have not been up there at the same time that he was around. He asked Kat about me last week and so I sent a letter for him saying that I would be coming next week if he wanted us to stay and eat with him.
So today was the day. We picked up Fanny and Maureen and Kat and I all went to their house.
When we arrived the mother was cooking and Francis and Barbara were no where to be seen. Memory and Christian were so we talked with them a little and then the older two kids showed up.
The nshima was ready and we prepared to eat with them.
Before the meal a pitcher with water is poured over a basin and we washed our hands.
Then Fanny began serving the food that the mother prepared. She started with the nshima.
It is cooked and then formed into large patties that you then break off with your hand and roll into a ball with only using your right hand. So I reached for the hot patties and burned my fingers. Not just like oh its kind of hot, but OWW, they are burning and the skin is hurting and I am trying to do everything the right way. Katryn said my face turned red and I said ow or something to that effect, while everyone started laughing!
I don't really know how you are supposed to pick up burning hot nshima without experiencing the burns. (Think of sticking your fingers into oatmeal that just came off the stove- but not just sticking it in, then trying to pick it up and put it on your plate) Maureen and then Francis got theirs without any trouble but then when it was Kat's turn she tried and Fanny ended up putting it on her plate.
Next was the pumpkin leaves, which I was familiar with and took a helping of those. After that came the main course. FISH.
I was contemplating in my mind how to go about the fish. I don't care for fish, but was thankful it was not caterpillars which we seriously had discussed last time with Francis. The fish was fried and cut in two. The front or the back. The head or the tail. So I opted for the tail and set to work trying to cut with the serving spoon a piece of the fish off so I could have "taken some" and then left some for someone else who only wanted a little,... say maybe Kat? But everyone was watching as I was serving my piece as Fanny held the bowl. I must have had a momentary look on my face because she gave me the look of, "go ahead and take a piece". So I did. We all ate and it was fine, mixed in with my nshima and watching for bones.
It was so kind of them to open their home to us and to serve us a meal. I certainly didn't want to offend or take any of the food for granted. Maureen prayed before we ate in Bemba which gave me a good opportunity to thank God for their kindess and ask for help to eat the meal and not have any issues.
Something as simple as taking a meal together meant alot to them and to me. It is very common for Zambians to ask if we eat nshima. It is their staple food product and I think in eating it and especially eating it with them, it shows we are entering into their culture and that we do care about them and love them. So I was thankful to share this meal today, and not only with them but also with Kat and Maureen and Fanny.
After the meal the mother taught a bible study to us from various scriptures and through Maureen translating. She emphasized the love God's children have for one another and the oneness in Jesus. That there is no black and white, that doesn't matter but we are all God's Children.
After the bible study and Fanny's encouraging to the kids to keep attending the Sunday School, which is somewhat sporadic, we took a couple pictures outside.
(Me, Barbara, Francis, Mother, Maureen, Fanny)
So today was the day. We picked up Fanny and Maureen and Kat and I all went to their house.
When we arrived the mother was cooking and Francis and Barbara were no where to be seen. Memory and Christian were so we talked with them a little and then the older two kids showed up.
The nshima was ready and we prepared to eat with them.
Before the meal a pitcher with water is poured over a basin and we washed our hands.
Then Fanny began serving the food that the mother prepared. She started with the nshima.
It is cooked and then formed into large patties that you then break off with your hand and roll into a ball with only using your right hand. So I reached for the hot patties and burned my fingers. Not just like oh its kind of hot, but OWW, they are burning and the skin is hurting and I am trying to do everything the right way. Katryn said my face turned red and I said ow or something to that effect, while everyone started laughing!
I don't really know how you are supposed to pick up burning hot nshima without experiencing the burns. (Think of sticking your fingers into oatmeal that just came off the stove- but not just sticking it in, then trying to pick it up and put it on your plate) Maureen and then Francis got theirs without any trouble but then when it was Kat's turn she tried and Fanny ended up putting it on her plate.
Next was the pumpkin leaves, which I was familiar with and took a helping of those. After that came the main course. FISH.
I was contemplating in my mind how to go about the fish. I don't care for fish, but was thankful it was not caterpillars which we seriously had discussed last time with Francis. The fish was fried and cut in two. The front or the back. The head or the tail. So I opted for the tail and set to work trying to cut with the serving spoon a piece of the fish off so I could have "taken some" and then left some for someone else who only wanted a little,... say maybe Kat? But everyone was watching as I was serving my piece as Fanny held the bowl. I must have had a momentary look on my face because she gave me the look of, "go ahead and take a piece". So I did. We all ate and it was fine, mixed in with my nshima and watching for bones.
It was so kind of them to open their home to us and to serve us a meal. I certainly didn't want to offend or take any of the food for granted. Maureen prayed before we ate in Bemba which gave me a good opportunity to thank God for their kindess and ask for help to eat the meal and not have any issues.
Something as simple as taking a meal together meant alot to them and to me. It is very common for Zambians to ask if we eat nshima. It is their staple food product and I think in eating it and especially eating it with them, it shows we are entering into their culture and that we do care about them and love them. So I was thankful to share this meal today, and not only with them but also with Kat and Maureen and Fanny.
After the meal the mother taught a bible study to us from various scriptures and through Maureen translating. She emphasized the love God's children have for one another and the oneness in Jesus. That there is no black and white, that doesn't matter but we are all God's Children.
After the bible study and Fanny's encouraging to the kids to keep attending the Sunday School, which is somewhat sporadic, we took a couple pictures outside.
(Me, Barbara, Francis, Mother, Maureen, Fanny)
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Pictures off Zambezi River
Here are some pictures from last week when we stayed on the Zambezi river.
Lots of Elephants and lots and lots of hippos. Some crocodiles and birds.
We also saw men from the local villages out fishing in their dug out canoes.
African Geese
Beefeater
These birds all make their nests in the holes of the rock
Very colorful, a bright aqua and red
Elephant on the bank
Elephants crossing the river
Hippos
Print in the sand from a crocodile
This croc was HUGE!
We stopped at this small island to get off the boat and take a walk.
Men fishing in dug out canoe
Interesting piece of information:
Elephant dung is used by these fishermen to burn at night for a fire.
Lots of Elephants and lots and lots of hippos. Some crocodiles and birds.
We also saw men from the local villages out fishing in their dug out canoes.
African Geese
Beefeater
These birds all make their nests in the holes of the rock
Very colorful, a bright aqua and red
Elephant on the bank
Elephants crossing the river
Hippos
Print in the sand from a crocodile
This croc was HUGE!
We stopped at this small island to get off the boat and take a walk.
Men fishing in dug out canoe
Interesting piece of information:
Elephant dung is used by these fishermen to burn at night for a fire.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Greater things have yet to be done...
Rick made this video as a report on his trip to Zambia.
I previewed it about a week ago before he showed it in the Sunday school class at our home church this past week. I live here, experience it everyday and I was moved to tears all 3 times I have seen it.
It starts driving into Kabanana, the compound here in Lusaka where we work with the orphans, and where some of the pastors are from in the college. The song that is in the video is the song that we had playing in our car the first time we drove into Kabanana. The video is great and I feel really gives you a glimpse into life here. Though you can't really know until you actually come here. So please come visit!
I previewed it about a week ago before he showed it in the Sunday school class at our home church this past week. I live here, experience it everyday and I was moved to tears all 3 times I have seen it.
It starts driving into Kabanana, the compound here in Lusaka where we work with the orphans, and where some of the pastors are from in the college. The song that is in the video is the song that we had playing in our car the first time we drove into Kabanana. The video is great and I feel really gives you a glimpse into life here. Though you can't really know until you actually come here. So please come visit!
Happy GRACE Day !
We got HER! She is OURS!
This morning we walked out of court with our new daughter
Grace AnnaMarie WILLIAMSON!
We have been blessed beyond measure with all of our children and now to be given this child that before the world even began, God had a plan for her to be part of our family. Truly amazing!
The 3 older kids went to court with us, which means they got to skip school and be there. The judge made a comment about why were all the kids there. I told our social worker that they were all very excited.
( a few pictures taken with camera phone)
Then she later asked us why we wanted to adopt her when we already had so many kids.
Then she told us that we should love her and care for her. She even told the kids that you should love her. I told her, " Ma'am we already do!"
Leaving court
When we got home from court the first thing the little boys asked us is did we officially adopt her.
Caleb tackled her to the ground with a hug.
We celebrated the day by going out to lunch at our favorite ( and only) mexican resturant.
AT lunch the kids were "presenting" Grace
Then a friend Steve Allen came over for dinner and sarah made brownies from a box from home. It was quite the treat and we had been saving it for this special occasion since we brought Grace home 3 months ago.
Steve took some pictures of us and I really liked this one. One big happy family!
Even to say that now, 3 months ago is amazing that we have only had her for that amount of time and that things went as smoothly as they did for us. All other friends here that have gone through the process or know others who have gone through it have been more than 3 months and alot more stress and hassle. God has indeed been good and kind to us today!
Just going through the pictures from the day this evening have been bringing tears to my eyes.
She is mine!
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