...That is the question.
In a family of 8 now, the issue of sharing is often on the front burner in our household. Whether it is sharing a room, a toy, a book, a blanket, food, space in the bathroom, anything you name. Sharing is not something we are naturally just prone to do.
Yesterday though I was faced with my own, "sharing dilemma". It's not just for the kids, but all of us.
Here is what happened.
We had an extremely full day, starting at 7:30 taking the kids to school and going downhill from there. Errands and stops all over the place with the 4 younger kids in tow. Waiting and waiting and being disappointed and things as usual not working out like they should. We finally got home just in time to grab some lunch, at most 45 minutes, before needing to head out to pick up the kids from school and then come back drop them off and take Kat and Maureen out to near Kabanana and drop them off. I was in the house at most 5 minutes and then Kat came in to ask if I had anything for an allergic reaction.
Richard ( maureen's 10 yr. old son who is currently living on the property with her) had been stung by a bee and was developing a rash.
Here is the my heart on the matter.
A bit bothered by the fact that now I need to figure out what to do for this boy and how to help because his mom was gone for the day.
I opened my hall closet where I keep medicine and started looking through the bottles I have.
I knew what he needed. Benadryl.
I also knew that I only had 3/4 of one bottle of children's benadryl.
Back home, at times we would go through Benadryl during allergy season like it was Kool- Aid. Honestly it is great stuff that works really well for my kids.
But for some reason there was a big ban on bringing this medicine into the country. It is illegal. So I am not sure where this one bottle came from but when I was packing up things for our shipment to come over, I intentionally did not pack it though I really wanted to. I packed several bottles of other medicines, but not Benadryl.
And here I was standing in front of the bottle literally holding it in my hand and feeling torn. What if my kids need this sometime? And I will already have less because I am sharing it now…
Then I think back to just a couple weeks ago when Richard had another reaction and some cream was found and that was used up as well. Then I think of the broken window from last week when he hit a baseball into it, playing with Caleb. And the water storage tower that just a few days ago he encouraged Jackson to climb up on. And the general mischief that seems to come when he is around.
And my mind focuses again in on this bottle of Benadryl. I take it and start walking to the kitchen and said to Kat, "This is when it is hard".
Something as simple as sharing medicine with a sick child. And it becomes hard. Hard because I think, "well what about my kids…"
And then I think the Lord brings to mind, where is my trust?
Is it in a bottle of Benadryl? How ridiculous.
Is it in being so prepared, that everything I can think of is on hand and now none of the kids will get sick?
That too is ridiculous. The last 5 months here have proven that is not the case with both Emma and Jackson being hospitalized.
If my trust was not entirely and completely in The Lord, then I would not be here.
If my chief concern was "what about my kids" and not "what about what the Lord is clearly laying out for us to do" and I know He loves my kids more than I do…. and "what about His name being proclaimed to the ends of the earth" then I honestly know I would still be sitting on my comfortable porch overlooking beautiful rolling hills in my Ole Kentucky home. I would be watching my children running around laughing and playing in the nice green grass ( as opposed to the dusty brown here ) and that is where I might be tempted to have my "security and trust".
God is faithful to remind me of these things, and help me keep my focus.
Sharing is hard stuff sometimes.
But I am thankful God uses things like Benadryl.
( In case you were wondering, one dose of it and Richard was fine.--It is great stuff!)