I Lost it.

Grace lost it right after the kids got home from school. We were just finishing up our HOPE Kabanana staff meeting and James had gone to pick up the kids from school. She started acting up earlier in the day and as soon as they got home, there was alot of commotion with the kids and the ladies leaving the house and it was too much for her. Which then in turn was too much for me and I lost it. The kids were finishing their homework, everyone was talking at the same time, asking things all at once, how do you spell.... what is forty nine... Then all of a sudden Grace tried to bite Emma and that was the last straw.

The week has gone well overall some bumps along the way, today being one of them. Jackson and Caleb started school along with Emma and Ian on wednesday. Monday-Wednesday they have long full days and then Thursday and Friday are half days. Caleb has adjusted fine, but then he is more social and outgoing anyways.


Jackson has had some struggles, challenges...OK, tears is what it is. He has cried every day so far. Crying before he goes to school, the first day he basically cried himself to sleep and then as soon as he woke up in the morning he started again. At least once each day since he started, he has cried at school for various reasons. Mrs. Kumwenda, the headmistress and friend said that is normal and he should settle pretty soon.

He is either afraid or worried or not sure what to do next. Today it was because the teacher told him he needed to wear a white t-shirt for PE instead of the red one he had on. I knew he needed a white one but we dont have one yet and so I thought a solid color is better than something written on it. I am sure she said it fine to him, he is just super sensitive and truth be told, has the startings of being a Momma’s boy. Which is partly why this “school experience” could be of benefit to him. And which is entirely why having a dad is a good thing. After the second day of tears Mom would have given in and said, ok thats fine you can stay home. And that wouldn’t necessarily be good for him. Dad says no you will be fine and get in there and do it.

It is not all cultural either. Back in America he was the same way with going to Sunday school class. So I am hoping by the end of this week he will be feeling better. He had a little boy ask him on the first day, “Can I be your friend?” He flatly said , “no”. And that was it. When he told us later we talked to him and then the next day he said no one asked him on that day.

Upon arrival back to our home, the roaches had overtaken our kitchen and mold was growing in my closet. So I could not keep any dishes in the kitchen or hang up any clothes in my closet until both of those issues had been taken care of.
We have had our kitchen cabinets spread out over the tables, freezer and pantry for the last week and clothes all over the bedroom and hanging in other closets.

Friday the bug man came and sprayed the entire house especially the kitchen, which meant that everything was out since then. Slowly I have been making progress in there. I had Ian wipe out all the dead roaches, of which there were ALOT. He read a book on roaches from the Library when we were in Louisville so I told him he could put it in to practice. Saturday I was able to clean out the closet though I know I didn’t remove the problem of the mold, only the surface issue. There must be leaking from the roof down into our closet and then it was closed up for 3 months. There was mold growing on several pairs of shoes. Who knew mold could grown on leather shoes?

Friday I interviewed a new lady to be the maid. It seemed to go well and she was supposed to show up this morning at 7:30. Surprise... She was a no show.
I guess the size of the house and number of people and amount of work there is to do was too much as she was coming back out of “retirement” to work a little. So we must not have been a good candidate for that. But, she did say she would start Monday. Culturally someone is more likely to say they will do something and not do it, then to tell you straight up, “No.” “Or thanks but no thanks”.

So now we are still trying to figure out someone to help. Again, I know I don’t get much sympathy here from my American (stateside, I should say, friends) but for those that want to humor me, you can keep reading.
Our first maid Maureen, worked hard and was great. (We just moved her on to bigger and better things!) The second one was very cheerful but not so great of a worker so we are trying to get someone that works well and we can keep for awhile. It gets a bit stressful sometimes trying to get all these things in place, but I try to remember we have only been back a little over a week.

I have been to the grocery several times but we still don’t seem to have food in the house or meals planned out. The other days I seemed to handle it better but today was not one of them. So my dear husband when to the store to get something and is cooking dinner right now.

I asked if I could help with anything, he said no, go and relax. Do something you enjoy. So I am blogging, in between managing the evening showers for the younger kids.

I need to make out a grocery list and plan for meals for at least the next week. Seems a simple task doesn’t it? I haven’t been able to keep up with the boiling water and filtering so we have had to run to the store when we have had no water. So I feel like I am not managing things very well right now. We all are finally over the jet lag and I actually stayed awake until 9 last night. Still woke up at 5, but that is fine. It is nice to have the hour of quiet before everyone else gets up. I like the idea of getting up early, just never have been very successful at it. But with most of the kids having to be up and ready for school earlier now it has been working well. I have been able to have my quiet times in the morning before the kids get up which has been great, too bad didn’t seem to help me die to myself and not “loose it” today. I am 36 after all. It is to be expected from a 3 year old...

Well there is tomorrow. Thankfully if I loose it again tomorrow and every other day this week, there is still the grace and forgiveness of God. Which I need every day!

In other happy news, James was able to temporarily fix the washing machine so that now you turn it on and it flows freely the cold water to do the laundry. That has been a huge blessing. And, even the shower has come on at full blast. It is AMAZING.
This...


Instead of this...


We went ahead and bought a tv here. We were able to find a reasonably priced one ( for Zambia that is) and we have enjoyed watching the “cosby show” on dvds that we brought back and the kids are once again enjoying the wii that their grandparents bought them before we moved to Africa. So that has been fun.

The Zip line we brought back has been hung up in the yard and the kids are having a blast riding it back and forth between 2 trees in the yard.


All in all, we are "settling nicely" and hoping to get back into a schedule and routine and not "losing it" as often as my 3 year old!